Losing the fight, but not losing hope

I spent most of Saturday, like most of you, dealing with disappointment, anger, frustration, and the longing for justice.

Whether you want to call it voting against women, not believing sexual assault survivors, or political cronyism, the confirmation of Kavanaugh to the Supreme(ly Unjust) Court of the United States is a terrible blow to any of us who care about true equality, justice, and who respect the stories of the countless women who are routinely ignored.

How many stories do we need to hear of sexual assault before we start to believe survivors?

I think, honestly, the problem isn’t that we don’t believe women.

It’s more terrifying than that. It’s that people don’t care.

We, as a society, don’t care about other people who are not ourselves, and we are selfish, and greedy, and feel like putting down our privilege is the same thing as being oppressed, and I honestly don’t get it. I don’t understand this lack of empathy, and unwillingness to own up to our responsibilities as people with privilege to put. it. down. Why can’t men own up to our privilege and work to dismantle it? I benefit from it, but it’s not goddamn fair, nor just, nor right, so why should I support it? Can we not just simply sit here and own up?

Is it so goddamn hard as a man to say “you know what, I do have a bunch of privilege that I usually don’t think about. I guess women do generally have it way worse than me. Wow, I learned something new, and I feel sort of guilty about it, but maybe I’ll go talk to other men about it rather than disagree with someone who’s life experiences are totally different from mine.” Let’s start pulling our weight and not wait for women to do all of the dismantling of patriarchy.

But as we’ve seen by the confirmation, this is much easier said than done.

I’m not sure what the solution is. I’m not sure how to change anyone’s mind besides sitting down and talking with people, or writing these words to try and maybe get someone to thinking slightly differently. I’m an artist, and storyteller, and so the best thing I think I can do is continue to practice my craft, and do what I can to support survivors and their stories.

I urge you to do the same. Donate to great organizations like La Casa De Las Madres, or the Asian Women’s Shelter , or the Rape, Abuse, Incest National Network (RAINN).

To encourage you to support, I’ll be doing the same, plus I’ll be donating $2.50 from every one of my feminist monster pins (the succubus, medusa, and siren) to RAINN for the next week plus they are all 25% off until 10/12. So not only does your money go to a great cause, but you can snag one of these fierce mythological feminist pins.

So while I’m feeling a bit powerless, discouraged, and angry, at the end of the day we all have to remember that the fight is not done. We each need to do contribute what we can, however we can, in order to make the world a better place. No one is going to do it for us. We all have to rally together, team up, and push for something better. We need to make the political climate so that for every person who supports the corrupt authoritarian status-quo, there are ten of us fighting for equality and justice for all.

So don’t lose hope. Fight when and how you can. Empires can crumble, dictators can fall – it just takes a group of people who care about each other to get up and do some work. The terribleness of it all is what it is. But it’s how we deal with it that matters.

Losing the fight, but not losing hope

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